macbook

i bought one last night. probably the best purchase i've ever made. forking over a grand for it=totally worth it.

now i can write manifestos from the privacy of my own home.

and have videochats with sexy, sexy ladies.

word up!

ingratitude.

is a bitch. seriously.

i'm really fucking sick, and it sucks. my neck and shoulders, for whatever reason, feel like someone was pulling both of my arms in opposite directions all night.

i skipped my first class today and slept until quarter after one. i still feel shitty.

'30 days of night' came out today. i got it. maybe i'll watch that tonight with ryan and co.

spring break is coming up. i'm going out to chicago for a few days, but other than that, i have no plans, and no intention of staying in one place for more than a day or so. soooooooo people should give me something to do.

i'm done wating around for people who think they can string me along. expectation is the father of disappointment, but lately i haven't been disappointed with certain people's actions, so i guess i haven't been expecting much out of them. the trouble is that the actions in question have been rather sketchy. whatever. i'm a good person. i know i am.

evan vallela is a good dude.

brad hogarth is a good dude.

ryan lynn is a good dude.

john galm is a good dude.

ryan odonnell is a good dude.

ashley millhouse is a good dude.

hobbes is a good dude.

in the end, we're all good dudes.



the hostage calm demo is insanely fucking good. seeeeeeeeeeriously.

dreams

lately, they've sucked. a lot.



it's nice to not sleep alone sometimes.

it's good to feel wanted, if only for a night or two at a time.

i have good intentions.

it's getting warmer outside.

does the love always remain?

soon, all of this will be a memory, a standard upon which all others are held, the light which casts the shadows of my future life.

i am miserable. it's only going to get worse. much, much worse.

regrets

yup.

if it's not one thing, it's another.

this weekend was awesome.

except for the guilt.

and the rolled ankle.

but mostly the guilt.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am a bad person, i think. i lie to those closest to me to maintain some petty sense of morality but continue to do things that far outweigh what i'm afraid of happening if i told the truth. i keep my affairs in darkness, and the ironic thing is that i myself feel like i live in darkness.

sleepwalking.

did it again last night. woke up in the middle of my room after having a nightmare about a snake threatening me in the middle of my room. an hour or so later, i had a nightmare about aliens and woke up afraid that i was paralyzed and that aliens were coming for me.

fuck.

valentine's day might not suck this year.

lately

things have been weird. some stuff has occurred which is in and of itself strange, but what's stranger is my reaction to it: nothing. i feel nothing.


nothing.


it kind of sucks. but i'd rather feel this way than feel super shitty about stupid bullshit.

legos

are the only constant good in my life at this point.

part of me is going to be sad about leaving kutztown.

part of me is going to be happy.

which one will be win?!

i sorta forgot about this...

wow...


soooooo i got scammed for three hundred bucks on an ibook. turns out the company i was dealing with on shipping had gotten hacked a few months back, and now i'm out three hundred dollars. fuck my life.