Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
the jurassic park franchise
is totally awesome. all of them. they rule.
i spent a goodish amount of time tonight outside the venue at the have heart show. it sucked.
the adventure begins tomorrow night.
i spent a goodish amount of time tonight outside the venue at the have heart show. it sucked.
the adventure begins tomorrow night.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
aching all over...
inside and out.
i love my grandfather. i treated him to chinese tonight. he enjoyed it.
i hung out with kevin difranco as well. it ruled. i miss him.
apparently some people think im moving to california. i couldnt let them believe that. it would just be mean.
fuck.
i love my grandfather. i treated him to chinese tonight. he enjoyed it.
i hung out with kevin difranco as well. it ruled. i miss him.
apparently some people think im moving to california. i couldnt let them believe that. it would just be mean.
fuck.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
no sleep til whenever.
lately, i've been way into death metal, particularly later morbid angel and entombed. specifically with each band 'formulas fatal to the flesh' and 'gateways to annihilation' by morbid angel and 'left hand path' by entombed. shit is seriously fucking rad.
iron age are also high on my playlist as of now.
i leave for california in a week. i'm equal parts excited and expecting the worst.
as per usual, i'm awake thinking about shit i have no real reason to think about, like where i've been and what i've been through. i went to red robin tonight with some friends, like we used to do every friday night, and it was really cool, but there was something missing. maybe it was the fact that brad and i don't live together anymore. or maybe it's just because shits different. i dont know. either way, im awake now, its four in the morning, and i cant help but think about the way things were. i think about the people i know, and what i went through with them, and where they are know. maybe who they're with. sometimes i think about what was said and how it now means nothing. mostly i think about that.
fuck.
remember 'splashdance'? the disney album? i'm downloading it right now. i used to listen to that with my mom when i was barely old enough to walk but was able to read the lyrics. i used to be quite smart as a child. its a shame such intelligence didnt last.
i've been having some really weird fucking dreams lately. thank god i havent had any truly horrifying nightmares in a while. knock on wood.
fireworks tomorrow at heritage day. maybe i'll run into some girl i knew from high school, and maybe we'll french under the fireworks. probably not. hopefully not. or just hopefully. i dont know. i guess if things cant go how you want, then just...hope for the best and french a girl from high school under the shitty sub par fireworks in downtown easton surrounded by the shitty sub par citizens of downtown easton? story of my life! fuck the world! viva la impulse!
internet keeps cutting in and out. im considering being like 'hey pap. let me pay for internet.' and he'll probably think im nuts. i love my grandfather. every night before i go to bed i thank god for his existence.
sigh...i wish i wasnt sleeping alone. i thought i'd enjoy having a big bed, buuuuuuut it only emphasizes my loneliness. id like to cuddle with a pleasant girl. or a peasant girl. but not a pheasant girl.
sometimes in the morning jake comes in and sniffs around. he's a pretty neat dog. i wish he could talk.
im gonna end this now while i still have internet.
iron age are also high on my playlist as of now.
i leave for california in a week. i'm equal parts excited and expecting the worst.
as per usual, i'm awake thinking about shit i have no real reason to think about, like where i've been and what i've been through. i went to red robin tonight with some friends, like we used to do every friday night, and it was really cool, but there was something missing. maybe it was the fact that brad and i don't live together anymore. or maybe it's just because shits different. i dont know. either way, im awake now, its four in the morning, and i cant help but think about the way things were. i think about the people i know, and what i went through with them, and where they are know. maybe who they're with. sometimes i think about what was said and how it now means nothing. mostly i think about that.
fuck.
remember 'splashdance'? the disney album? i'm downloading it right now. i used to listen to that with my mom when i was barely old enough to walk but was able to read the lyrics. i used to be quite smart as a child. its a shame such intelligence didnt last.
i've been having some really weird fucking dreams lately. thank god i havent had any truly horrifying nightmares in a while. knock on wood.
fireworks tomorrow at heritage day. maybe i'll run into some girl i knew from high school, and maybe we'll french under the fireworks. probably not. hopefully not. or just hopefully. i dont know. i guess if things cant go how you want, then just...hope for the best and french a girl from high school under the shitty sub par fireworks in downtown easton surrounded by the shitty sub par citizens of downtown easton? story of my life! fuck the world! viva la impulse!
internet keeps cutting in and out. im considering being like 'hey pap. let me pay for internet.' and he'll probably think im nuts. i love my grandfather. every night before i go to bed i thank god for his existence.
sigh...i wish i wasnt sleeping alone. i thought i'd enjoy having a big bed, buuuuuuut it only emphasizes my loneliness. id like to cuddle with a pleasant girl. or a peasant girl. but not a pheasant girl.
sometimes in the morning jake comes in and sniffs around. he's a pretty neat dog. i wish he could talk.
im gonna end this now while i still have internet.
Friday, July 11, 2008
...in which case im doomed.
Yeah…
So I saw reign supreme and iron age in a basement tonight. It would’ve been fun, but a group of a dozen or so redneck assholes decided it was probably a good idea to judo mosh in a basement full of people. I got hit in the face really, really fucking hard. They of course left immediately after reign supreme ended their set. Fuck them for ruining the only place I feel comfortable anymore.
I miss klint kanopka. A lot.
I kept expecting to run into someone any second while I was in philly tonight. And for whatever reason, I was really afraid. Maybe it was the company I was keeping for the evening. Maybe not.
Once again, I ignored a phone call from a friend tonight. I told myself it was because I was in a car, on my way to a show, and it would have been somewhat rude to the person calling me to not give them my full attention. In actuality, it was probably because Ive become somewhat of a recluse and really don’t talking to anyone much anymore. Because as fun as the show was (and, douchebags aside, it was fun. Iron age were rad, and reign supreme put on a really, really good show) I would have preferred to be in my room, by myself, watching some movie and falling asleep shortly thereafter. I don’t like the fact that I continue to justify avoiding the company of my friends. I don’t know why I came out tonight. Maybe it was special circumstances. Who knows. I don’t really.
I had thought at this point, something would have happened, and I would have things figured out, and it’s somewhat disheartening and depressing that clarity/satisfaction continues to elude me. Take that as you will, and apply to it what you want.
I’m not excited about anything anymore, and I don’t find virtue in anyone. All I care about is making myself as comfortable as possible for the time being, because it could all end tomorrow, or it could go on forever.
So I saw reign supreme and iron age in a basement tonight. It would’ve been fun, but a group of a dozen or so redneck assholes decided it was probably a good idea to judo mosh in a basement full of people. I got hit in the face really, really fucking hard. They of course left immediately after reign supreme ended their set. Fuck them for ruining the only place I feel comfortable anymore.
I miss klint kanopka. A lot.
I kept expecting to run into someone any second while I was in philly tonight. And for whatever reason, I was really afraid. Maybe it was the company I was keeping for the evening. Maybe not.
Once again, I ignored a phone call from a friend tonight. I told myself it was because I was in a car, on my way to a show, and it would have been somewhat rude to the person calling me to not give them my full attention. In actuality, it was probably because Ive become somewhat of a recluse and really don’t talking to anyone much anymore. Because as fun as the show was (and, douchebags aside, it was fun. Iron age were rad, and reign supreme put on a really, really good show) I would have preferred to be in my room, by myself, watching some movie and falling asleep shortly thereafter. I don’t like the fact that I continue to justify avoiding the company of my friends. I don’t know why I came out tonight. Maybe it was special circumstances. Who knows. I don’t really.
I had thought at this point, something would have happened, and I would have things figured out, and it’s somewhat disheartening and depressing that clarity/satisfaction continues to elude me. Take that as you will, and apply to it what you want.
I’m not excited about anything anymore, and I don’t find virtue in anyone. All I care about is making myself as comfortable as possible for the time being, because it could all end tomorrow, or it could go on forever.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
why oh why
i'm pretty sure maybe three people read this blog.
i remember once, a long time ago, i spent the night with someone. in the morning, when they left, i was half asleep and was only mildly woken up by the sound of them leaving, but i remember it being incredibly depressing for some reason. i laid there by myself for another couple of minutes on the verge of tears, wishing i had stayed asleep through them leaving and had just woken up to an empty bed.
i don't know what made me think of that. perhaps it was earlier talk of how great it feels to give small, "sleepy" kisses to someone instead of wildly making out with them. i think it's because a slow and small kiss on the shoulder is a lot more intimate. sort of like holding hands, i guess. who knows. the point is that i miss all of that. dearly. and it feels like each day, its growing a little more distant.
tonight i watched videos of japanese skiers being shot down a ski ramp, naked, in a rocket chair. i do love japan.
i remember once, a long time ago, i spent the night with someone. in the morning, when they left, i was half asleep and was only mildly woken up by the sound of them leaving, but i remember it being incredibly depressing for some reason. i laid there by myself for another couple of minutes on the verge of tears, wishing i had stayed asleep through them leaving and had just woken up to an empty bed.
i don't know what made me think of that. perhaps it was earlier talk of how great it feels to give small, "sleepy" kisses to someone instead of wildly making out with them. i think it's because a slow and small kiss on the shoulder is a lot more intimate. sort of like holding hands, i guess. who knows. the point is that i miss all of that. dearly. and it feels like each day, its growing a little more distant.
tonight i watched videos of japanese skiers being shot down a ski ramp, naked, in a rocket chair. i do love japan.
Friday, July 4, 2008
i didnt kiss anyone today.
fuck.
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests.Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:
"We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!"
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!
yup.
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests.Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:
"We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!"
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!
yup.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
sleepless
night time is the right time.
i've become almost nocturnal. no matter what time i go to bed, i find it hard to wake up in the day.
i'm going to philly this weekend. its gonna be fun.
i've become almost nocturnal. no matter what time i go to bed, i find it hard to wake up in the day.
i'm going to philly this weekend. its gonna be fun.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
easton.
i'm staying at my grandfathers in southside easton. so far, we've watched several hours of the history channel together, went to a diner together, gone to walmart together, and pretty much hang out all the time. today, his dog jake raided the garden and ate all of the cucumbers. whats more bizarre is he later trampled the plants. earlier tonight, jake punched me in the face and gave me a hug. it was pretty awesome.
unloved.
obsolete.
cast aside.
left behind.
that's pretty much how i feel right now.
i'm probably gonna go to philly this weekend to see my dear friend klint. i love klint.
i need something that i haven't had in a while.
unloved.
obsolete.
cast aside.
left behind.
that's pretty much how i feel right now.
i'm probably gonna go to philly this weekend to see my dear friend klint. i love klint.
i need something that i haven't had in a while.
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