today/tonight/yah yah yah

meeting with my advisor. thesis is coming along great. awesome.

skipped my last class of the day. an astronomy lab. i like it, but fuck it.

made indian food. yum.

girl came over. like an idiot, i deciding going to the mall was a better idea than "cuddling, eating dark chocolate, and watching 'taxi driver'". winner for dunce of year? yeah i'll take that.

went to the mall to get a new grill for the grill. totally not worth it. thought about how awesome cuddling would be and was generally miserable the whole time i was there. 

walked said girl home. threw around the idea of kissing her. decided not to. regretted it. probably would've regretted it either way.

went to the bar with john galm.

met brooke there.

protected brooke from some creepy fucking scumbag.

hung out with brooke and talked about shit.

hung out with the following people: scott nothwher, danny boy, mike mcgeogh (?), sam shoap, and ben.

talked to mike about hardcore.

leaned against a wall, drank free coke, and watched a super cute girl awkwardly dance with her friends. she had really short hair, was barely on the pleasant side of average, was totally not dressed for the bar (corduroy jacket over a gray hoodie, barack obama pin, regular girl jeans, sneakers, and a flyers shirt) but she was wonderful to watch. 

saw my friend sam talking to her and her friends. decided 'the hell with it. in three weeks i'll never see her again.' asked sam about her. she had a boyfriend. 'soulja boy' started playing, i peaced out off the dancefloor.

hung out with danny, talked about drinking and life, and bonded.

left the bar and walked home alone.

and now i will go to bed and regret everything.

open the borders!!

of the kingdom of ends!!!

thesis!!!

coalition!!!

soft pretzels!!!

goodfellas!!!

i am stoked on all of these things right now. 

this weekend is going to be fucking awesome. i love my roommates.

freedom

means i have nothing left to lose. in a month, i will have nothing left to lose. it's an exhilirating feeling, to be able to do whatever i want. it's also the feeling a ship without an anchor feels, a feeling of drifting with nothing to hold it down. i cant decide how i feel. i really cant. 

fuck. as much as i hate it, i'm going to miss this town. a lot.

i am a rock.

i only say what i mean.

i mean what i say.

i don't care anymore about consequences. i just want to get what i want.

i graduate college in less than a month. 

we have to let them know.

so we're taking a road trip this summer out to california for sound and fury. over a week of adventures with arguably one of the best people in the world and some other totally rad people. i'm so excited. i've never been to the west coast (or even west of chicago) so i'm stoked to see the pacific, the rest of the midwest, and the southwest. i'm probably gonna start a blog exclusively for the trip, doing daily updates with pictures and whatnot.

***

it feels good to have my arms around someone.

complicated, so frustrated...

years from now, i will regret this. i know this. and yet i do nothing about it.

two indecisives don't make a decisive human being. they just make things really difficult.

pictures

weird me the fuck out.

truth.

i dont believe anything good a girl says about me regarding my abilities in the bedroom, but i found out last night there were apparently rumors about my...endowment going around a few years ago. 

that also weirds me out.

college is almost over.  that ALSO weirds me out.

i didnt get to sleep until almost five last night, and i was up at eight. and i class til six tonight. one of those classes is a two hour astronomy lab. that doesnt weird me out, it just...i dunno....pisses me off.

snackman's band might open up for the bad brains. that rules. good job, snack attack.

i'm having a root beer kegger to celebrate the end of me writing my thesis. fuck yeah!