it's like this:
i don't usually care how i sound, because i've come to terms with how much i sound like an asshole. but sometimes, my voice becomes an idiot thing, jabbering in my ear, and i'm helpless to keep it from running in circles, apparently with a will of it's own. and you say things that make you think 'why the fuck am i saying this?' and you're digging yourself deeper and making yourself look like a spectacular asshole.
i feel like the characters in 'the stand' upon realizing that everything that caused ruin was still lying around out there, just waiting to be picked up and set to task to yet again do mischief and mayhem.
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